Chapter 4: The Letter

Whoever finds this letter, please forward it to my wife: Eleni Fotis, 742 East Conrad, Minneapolis, Minnesota. U.S.A. My name is Nickolas Fotis. Enclosed with this letter are four dog tags. Three of them are from members of my unit who were killed in action. The forth one is mine. These dog tags will direct you to our military records.

To My Dearest Eleni,

My greatest hope is that long before you even see this letter I will have held you in my arms and explained, in person, everything that has happened to me. This I pray with every ounce of my heart.

Of course our little Maria—she must be almost 3—has also warmed my soul these past, many months. When I thought I was a goner for sure it was the memory of both of you—and my love for you, that kept me going.

Actually, my darling, I am giving myself several days to write this letter. I will make a copy of it, that I will carry with me forever. The other copy I am going to hide near the remains of a B-52 that I stumbled upon yesterday. Everyone inside the bomber is dead.

But first, my love, let me start at the beginning. Let’s see, that would be February 10 when I arrived in Saigon. From there I made it to Kontum. Although my team was supposed to be inserted on February 3rd, poor weather and some other problems kept us grounded until February 28th. The team we were replacing had made it out OK but our untimely delay meant that I-Force would be without any eyes in G-sector for two weeks.

Altogether, ten of us were inserted near Laos. We had six Nung mercenaries with us and our mission was to establish surveillance positions to monitor traffic along the Ho Chi Minh Trail. My team was inserted into our LZ by helicopter without incident.  This time I was on loan to an Army outfit and not with my regular SOG unit.  Although things were a lot looser in terms of what we took with us, such as our dog tags, all and all the change of pace was something that I was looking forward to.

Sweetheart, all I know is that seven weeks later—this was the last time I heard from anybody. It was as if the war had simply disappeared. Nothing on our radios made any sense. Everything went dead.  All we could do was sit and wait—and listen.  We had no idea what was happening.

As for right now I’m not sure how long it has been. I just know that it has been a long time. I think well over a year.

Our helicopter placed us on the ground about 15 miles from our first post—closer to Laos. Traveling only at night to avoid any contact with the VC, it took us nearly 30 hours to reach our first destination.

After getting Sgt. Pierce’s position established, we traveled north. The rest of our team took their respective places, with my position finally making our line complete—probably covering a total of 40 miles. My post was the furthest north, not far from where we were to be picked up.  

Since we were to stay deployed for over a month, I’m sure that we not only kept an eye out for VC but also on our calendars. I know that the phone call we had planned on April 15th was always on my mind.

During our deployment, other than a few encrypted radio transmissions, radio silence was strictly enforced. At first there was very little to report. Only toward the end did I see any appreciable activity. On March 20th a large force of enemy troops passed by in full combat dress. Of course, this was a significant sighting. After this, until I left my observation post, VC traffic never let up.

Because our radio contact with Kontum was extremely limited, my last transmission with I-Force was on the 22nd. Mostly some prearranged signals. There was absolutely nothing to alarm me. The LZ for our extraction was our final goal and each of us was to arrive there on our own. Our helicopter was scheduled to pick us up on March 29th.

This gives you some idea of our time table. But before leaving Laos I had several long weeks to observe enemy traffic.

What happened next, Eleni, I guess you could say was a soldier’s greatest nightmare. Everyone made it to our LZ, but for the next five days we waited in vain for our helicopter to pick us up. Besides this, nothing on our radios made any sense. Like I told you, it was exactly like the war had just got up and disappeared. All we could figure was that our frequencies had been changed and that the helicopter that was to pick us up had been shot down.

But one thing hadn’t changed—the war. There were enemy troops everywhere. In fact, six days later we were attacked. Three of the men near me were killed when a rocket exploded on top of them. It just barely missed me, but I was well hidden. You know my friend, Carl. He was one of them—such a fearless soldier.

The attack scattered the rest of our team all over the place and I guess it became a matter of every man for himself. I never did see any of the others  again. I don’t know where they are. It could be that I was the last one alive. I’m just not sure.

After awhile the jungle grew quiet.  Although this wouldn’t have been the case had I been with my SOG team, because the army insisted that we wear them, I was able to get the dog tags off the dead men. Since night was fast approaching, I inched myself along on my belly as far away from there as I could get.

For days on end all I know is that I tried my best to keep alive—heading instinctively deep inside the rugged mountains of Laos. That was my only goal. But in time things started to get confused. I had nothing really to eat and I began to get sick. I was completely lost. The terrain was unbelievably rough.  My memory is vague from this point on. However, I do recall falling down a steep ravine. I hit my head pretty hard and I think I was going in and out of consciousness. After awhile everything went blank. I also bruised my leg pretty bad but it might have been broken. I can’t remember things clearly.

Well, there is one thing I do remember. I can clearly recall dreaming about the story that Maria liked hearing so much. You know the one. I am writing it down in the hopes that someone will find this and Maria can read it one more time. Since it saved me once, maybe it will save me again.

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Once upon a time ago there was a little scarlet fish who lived in a small pond full of green lily pads and big fat guppies.

Although the guppies mostly stayed under the lily pads and slept, the little scarlet fish loved to explore the pond he lived in.

One day at the far end of the pond the little fish noticed a iron grate. Swimming up to it he couldn’t help but wonder what was on the other side. He also wondered if the guppies knew about it.

Fully of curiosity, he swam over to the first guppy and pleaded with him to tell him all about the grate and what was on the other side. But the fat guppy didn’t want to be bothered—“Go away. Can’t you see that I’m sleeping? Don’t bother me!”

Sadly, this was the same response the little scarlet fish got out of every guppy he asked. He was very sad.

Finally swimming back to the grate, the little fish said to himself that if no one would tell him what was on the other side, then he would just have to find out for himself.

Soon he had a plan. Comparing the spacing’s in the grate to the size of his own body, he just knew that a couple of days of not eating and maybe a few scraped scales, that he would be able to make it through to the other side.

And sure enough, on the third day he found himself on the other side of the grate. He was so excited he never even thought to look back as he swam away.

What happened next was the beginning of the greatest adventure—ever. First, the shallow stream that the scarlet fish found himself in turned into a much bigger stream, and that eventually emptied into a large river. The water was much deeper and he felt safe. 

Once in the river the little fish began to see things that he never imagined possible. He saw the bottom of boats—all sorts of fish that he didn’t even know existed—piers, and so much more. Then one day the river’s current took the scarlet fish out into the ocean. You can just imagine how the little fish must have felt. Besides the big ocean waves, he saw starfish, jellyfish, seaweed and even a school of seahorses. The little scarlet fish was thrilled beyond words.

But then something terrible happened to the little fish. Somehow he was swimming in water that was much too shallow—maybe a low tide—and suddenly a large fish appeared out of nowhere with its mouth wide opened. No matter how hard the little scarlet fish tried to swim away he couldn’t escape. With hundreds of other small fish, down into the fish’s stomach he went.

Suddenly it became very dark. Now very much afraid, the scarlet fish knew that there was only one thing to do—something he had learned from his mother. Immediately he began to pray to the Creator of all fish—for help.

And then, just like that, all at once the big fish let out a huge hiccup and instantly the little scarlet fish was free. Again he prayed, but this time he thanked the Creator for answering his prayers.

After this happened the little fish began to think of all the fat guppies back in the fish pond. He became very sad—thinking of the wonderful things that they were missing out on. He just knew that he had to go back and tell them. That was love.

With great determination and purpose the little scarlet fish now began his long journey home. From the ocean he swam back into the river and past all the piers and boats. Eventually he came to the smaller river, which led to the stream that he had first entered. And sure enough, the iron grate was still there. But this time, because of all his hard swimming and how much weight he had lost, the little fish easily passed through the grate without losing even a single scale.

Not taking a moment to rest, immediately the little scarlet fish swam over to the first guppy he saw and said, “Oh, please excuse me, but I have something wonderful to tell you.”

But instead of listening to what the scarlet fish had to say, the guppy became very angry. “Go away. Can’t you see that I am sleeping? I don’t want to be bothered. Go away!”

Even worse, each of the fat guppies that the little fish tried to talk to said the same thing. Not a single guppy would listen.

Feeling great sorrow in his heart, the little scarlet fish swam over to the iron grate and passed through to the other side. This time he did look back but with a tear in his eye. Slowly he swam off toward the deep river where he felt safe.

Back at the lily pond, in the middle of a hot summer’s drought, the pond dried up.

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Eleni, I guess I wanted to write the whole story to help give me courage and remind of God’s mercy—and I think it has.

Like I said, I had fallen and hurt myself pretty bad. I knew I was dying. I remember dreaming about the little scarlet fish in the belly of the large fish. Since I was in just as much danger I began to pray for help. Now it all makes sense. Remembering Father Ambrose who told me to pray when we last saw him, over and over again I kept praying, “Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, please have mercy on me, a sinner”—and I was saved!