photo by: Wayne Thompson

 

"Nickolas, it is good to hear you praying so sweetly." 

"Thank you very much." Nick reached out and took Surya's hand.

"Father Mikalson also prayed with me. I even remember his prayer: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.  It’s a very good prayer."

"Yes, that is the same prayer I am saying now. I also want to thank Rama for  teaching me the prayers that you chant on your beads. I think I know it: Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare • Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare." Standing next to Nick and Surya, Rama smiled.

"Yes, very good."

"It took me a while to learn it and I am trying to repeat it more, each day."

"Either prayer, Nickolas, is good. Father Mikalson and I spent many hours praying together and talking about prayer. Sometimes I would utter his prayer and sometimes he would say mine."

"I wish I could have met Father Mikalson. As we walk this morning, please tell me what you talked about.  By the way, where is the Father now?"

"Sadly, Father Mikalson died in Africa while working as a missionary.  He caught a horrible fever.  It was such a sad day when I received word about him, but Father Mikalson would want me to be happy. He was like that. In our talks, Nickolas, you are meeting the Father, and it is a great honor for me to speak to you about him. Up ahead is a comfortable area where we can sit. See, right there.

Over the years, this is where we have had many conversations. I have told all these wonderful men about Father Mikalson and how our two religions share a sacred trust in the power of prayer. Having your good company these past months has been a great boon to me in my old age. You have not only blessed us with your wonderful spirit, but I can also feel the presence of Father Mikalson as we speak."

Reaching over to a large leaf, Suryavarman shook a drop of water into his palm.

 

 

"Nickolas, see this drop of water? It contains so many things. Inside a single drop you will find an abundance of life-giving properties. Without water we would all die. In order to live, we have to take shelter of water. In a way, prayer is like this drop of water—in what it contains. Tell me again the words you are praying."

"Yes, gladly. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me."

"Nickolas, as you repeat this prayer, the most significant thing is that you are addressing the Lord’s Holy Name. In discussing the Holy Name, Father Mikalson would often speak about the endless treasures available in the name of Christ. He even showed me where this is written in the Bible: To me, who am less than the least of all the saints, was this grace given, so that I might make clear to the Gentiles the good news of the unending wealth of Christ.   Ephesians 3:8

"The Father taught me that just as there are so many treasures inside this little drop of water, within the Name of God there is also an endless treasure. Father Mikalson said that on his way to Cambodia with Mr. Groslier, they had to ride on a large ship. The Father said that on the ship he saw several smaller boats. He called them, lifeboats. Inside each of these little lifeboats were stored all sorts of provisions, just in case their ship sank. Everything they would need to survive was packed inside each lifeboat.

Father Mikalson told me that the Holy Name was also like a lifeboat, full of divine treats. But unlike a lifeboat whose life-saving inventory could be easily counted, the Divine Provisions found packed inside the Holy Name, are an endless treasure." Suryavarman smiled, looking around at all the men.

 

 

Nick then spoke. "What you are telling me is just thrilling. I would have never thought about this comparison. It is such a unique way to understand the value of prayer.  What else did you and the Father talk about concerning the Holy Name?"

"We spoke of many things, Nickolas. We used our time comparing the teachings of our two religions. Both of us found our conversations just as rewarding as you and I have.  Although Cambodia is far from India, nevertheless, Angkor Wat was built to honor India's Lord Vishnu.  Perhaps Rama will tell you how centuries ago, his family left India to live in Angkor Wat.  They brought with them such precious knowledge.  Knowledge that has brought us all closer to God. 

"Nickolas, just as Rama’s family has never swayed from the great religion of India, going back generations, my family has also worshiped Lord Krishna. My life is dedicated to Him. Everyday we chant His Holy Names on our wooden beads. These are the very names that Rama's family brought with them from India."

Shifting his weight, Nick then said, "What should I know, and understand, about the Lord’s Holy Name?"

"First, Nickolas, within both the Christian and Hindu traditions, the Holy Name is recognized as sacred sound, fully invested with the power and presence of God. The Holy Bible says, the Lord is His name. (Exodus 15:3)

"It also says, everyone who calls upon the Name of the Lord will be saved.  (Joel 2:32)

"In the Padma Purana, which is another Scripture we study, it mentions that the name of Krishna is no less powerful than Krishna—Himself. It says that the name of Krishna, and Krishna, are identical.

"Although there are many ways to pray and many prayers to recite, both of our religions place a premium on the Lord’s Holy Name. Come, let us walk. We can talk as we go."

Up ahead a deer jumped off the trail, quickly followed by two more.  But just as quickly, they stopped to forage along the side of a gentle hill.  One of the deer lifted its head and stood looking at the group of men as they all smiled.  Nick cleared his throat and began to speak.

 

 

"Everything is now making sense. I really like how Father Mikalson compares the Holy Name to a lifeboat, packed with endless provisions. But what about our sins?  For the past week I have been feeling so guilty.  I just can't shake off the feeling that I am damaged goods.  This war; things that I have done; men that I have killed. I feel so hopeless.  How can I be fixed?"

"I see that you are full of sincere question, this morning. Very good, Nickolas. And yes, we are all, as you say—damaged goods.  But don't fall into the false conception that you can somehow erase the past. That's impossible.  We all have to live with what we have done.

"Nickolas, the perfection you are seeking will never come to pass if you think that somehow, with enough atonement, all will go away.  Instead of looking for something that YOU can do, which is simply another form of self-pride, you must seek shelter of the Lord's devotees. Jesus was so kind.  He reached out to everyone—asking them to be kind, lovely, holy, and gentle.  Being rich or intelligent, or some other greatness, was never required.  Instead he spoke about the Ten Commandments and the necessity to always pray. These were simple guidelines that any decent human being should be glad to follow.  In return, this great devotee of God—Lord Jesus Christ—gladly accepted his followers—damaged goods and all.    

"Nickolas, you say that you feel like, damaged goods.  On the other hand, you want God to accept you.  Our salvation, then, is found in Jesus—or in others—who are most dear to our beloved Lord.  These dear souls do not ask from us the impossible—only that we behave as gentlemen.  Then their mercy falls upon us, as they accept us.  And no one is more dear to the Lord than His faithful servants.  When God sees how they have accepted someone—how that person has changed accordingly, then out of His love for His devotees, God is also merciful.  To be accepted by God is what we all want.  It is through His loving devotees that His acceptance is given—damaged goods and all.   If God has accepted you, what is the meaning of—damaged goods?

"Furthermore, Nickolas, both of our religions address the topic of sin in relation to the Holy Name. Father Mikalson once showed me a small book, The Mysteries of Salvation Revealed Through Ceaseless Prayer. In it, the Father showed me how every offense would immediately be purified by grace, from the frequent calling on the Holy Name. I told him that in the Garuda Purana, a similar statement is found. It says that if one chants the Holy Name of the Lord, even in helplessness or without desiring to do so, all the reactions of his sinful life depart, just as when a lion roars, all the small animals flee in fear."

With a large smile on his face, Nick reached out for Surya's hand.  "How can I ever tell you how much these talks mean to me? The things you are telling me are filling me with great faith in the Holy Name. What you have told me about salvation and the mercy of the Lord's devotees—your words are soothing to my soul. I never understood the enormous value that you have shown me this morning. Thank you."

"Very Good, Nickolas. Yes, Father Mikalson taught me many wonderful things about the Holy Name. Soon our trail will take us back to our monastery. If I may, there are other things I would like to tell you."

"Please do. I feel so enlivened. Please continue."

Everyone stood up and once again the monkeys could see the monks slowly walking, with Suryavarman and Nickolas in the lead." The reason that Jesus said, it behooves you to pray always, is that He understands the power of the Holy Name and what it contains. There is nothing more spiritually valuable than the Holy Name. This is stated in both our religions.  Honoring these words of Jesus, the Holy Fathers gathered together in monasteries throughout the sacred wilderness: great patriarchs such as Saint John Chrysostom, Saint Gregory of Sinai, Saint Simeon, Saint John Climacus, and many others."
 

 

Saint John Chrysostom

 

"What they taught and practiced amongst themselves is also true today. They understood and wrote that prayer is the chief and most powerful means of our renewal and transformation. This is why Jesus willed that men pray everywhere: I will therefore that men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.  1 Timothy 2:8

"This is how to be close to God, Nickolas—prayer. In the Padma Purana, the Lord tells his disciple, Narada, that He resides wherever his pure devotees are chanting His Holy Names."

Nick was almost speechless. The acute memory that Suryavarman possessed was uncanny. He knew he was in the presence of a great saint. "But please tell me this—most Christians do not repeat the same prayer over and over again, for hours. I have even heard them argue that this is wrong. Did Father Mikalson happen to mention this? I have always wondered—to be perfectly honest—repeating the same prayer has always seemed a bit strange to me. I guess I never heard it explained properly.  It almost appears to be a form of brainwashing."

"I must say Nickolas, that Father Mikalson seems to be directing your thoughts this morning. Your questions are universal and many people face them, but have no answers. In your Orthodox tradition, to pray means to direct the mind and heart to constant remembrance of God—to arouse in oneself the love of God by saying the Name of Jesus Christ in harmony with one’s breathing, and the beating of one’s heart.

"In all places and in all occupations, the Christian begins this process by vocally calling on the Holy Name of Jesus Christ. This is also true for all of us, who call upon Lord Krishna's Holy Name. However, many pseudo-enlightened people regard this vocal and frequent practice of the same prayer as useless and trivial—a mechanical and senseless occupation of simple-minded people. But those who criticize frequent and vocal prayer can be compared to little children who are being taught how to read by learning the alphabet first. They complain constantly, having to repeat the ABCs. The benefits—the enlightenment coming from reading, which is the result of the repetition of letters, is for them a great mystery.

"This mechanical exercise reveals a mystery of which they are, unfortunately, not aware. The Holy Names of Christos and Krishna have self-activating power. They do not realize that the vocal, but frequent call is imperceptibly becoming a true cry of the heart; that it is becoming interiorized, as it were natural for the soul; that it enlightens and nourishes the soul and unites it with God. The power of prayer prepares it for union with God. You will have reached the summit of all virtues and become a dwelling place of the Holy Spirit."

"What do you mean when you say that the Holy Name prepares it for union with God?"

"I am getting to be an old man, Nickolas. The monastery is right up ahead. Let us talk again this evening. I will not forget. Your question touches upon the very essence of the Holy Name—its most valuable ingredient."

A few moments later, Surya continued.  "Nickolas, while I am resting would you please help Rama with his English today? He needs help with his letters."

"I would be honored to help him. I’ll never be able to repay my debt to him. And again I want to express my gratitude to you. Once more you have helped me to better understand my own faith. Thank you. You have giving me insights that I would have never received, elsewhere. I will keep this conversation in my heart all day until we speak again. I will be looking forward to this evening. Thank you."

 

Over a year had passed. Deep inside, Nick was sure that he would be leaving the monastery soon. But he hadn't mentioned this to anyone. Not that it was such a secrete, but rather he just didn’t want to bother the monks with his plight, anymore than he already had. Besides, he felt that they already knew.

Since he had started his own garden, taking a few vegetables would be OK. More than fully recovered and jungle-wise, Nick wasn’t afraid of leaving. But at times, he hesitated. In fact, the thought of staying with the monks, forever, had even crossed his mind. But more frequently, the memory of his wife and daughter is what occupied him. He had to get back to his family. He wanted to tell them about the wonderful things he had experienced at the monastery. Alive and healthy, he couldn’t just forget about them. He had to get back—somehow. Nick also knew that the path home was going to be very dangerous. Nick smiled as he thought about the little scarlet fish.

At first these thoughts of leaving were almost non-existent—especially when he had been so close to death. But now things had changed. Above all else, he didn’t want to endanger or impose upon his new friends anymore than he had. He feared what the North Vietnamese would do to the monks if they discovered that they had been giving him shelter. The war must have shifted away from their immediate vicinity but Nick knew that this could change at any moment.

 

"Nickolas, I'm glad you remembered about this evening."

"Oh, I never forgot for a single moment. I hope you are feeling better. Did you get some rest?"

"I feel much better, thank you. I always feel stronger after my afternoon nap. And how are you, Nickolas?"

"Fine. Very good. Thank you, Sir."

"It's also nice to see you, Rama.  Did Nickolas help you with your writing?"

"Yes, he did. Nick went through the whole alphabet with me. I am going to practice everyday until I can write as good as he can.  Soon I will be teaching the others."

"Very good."

At that moment, one of the monks brought a pot of hot tea.

Surya took the first sip and smiled at everyone. Surya's followers had gathered around the two men. "Nickolas, I have been thinking about your question, earlier this morning. I have prayed to Lord Krishna to give me the wisdom to answer it properly. As you recall, you asked how the Holy Name prepares the soul for union with God?"

"Yes, that is right. I, too, have been thinking about my question. I am anxious to hear your reply."

Taking another sip of tea, Surya closed his eyes for a moment and then began to speak. "Just as salt is the most valuable ingredient in the pot of rice we had for lunch—giving the grains and vegetables a most pleasing taste—the most valuable ingredient found in the Holy Name makes anyone who takes the time to pray constantly—most pleasing to God, our Lord and Father. This most precious and holy substance prepares the soul for union with God.

"Furthermore, Nickolas, the Scriptures tell us that although there may be many discrepancies regarding one’s religious life, as soon as the Lord’s Holy Name is chanted, everything becomes faultless—again— preparing our union with God.

"In the history of my religion, which goes back to ancient India, there is a more modern influence that I haven’t told you about. When I do, I believe I will have answered your question. Although Cambodia is a long way from India, still there is contact between our two countries. A few pilgrims from India come to Angkor Wat every year.

"Soon, Rama will tell you how his family came from India, almost 500 years ago.  You have also met, Chaitanya das."

Hearing his spiritual master say his name, Chaitanya smiled.

"I have named this nice boy after a great saint whose name is Lord Chaitanya. Nickolas, in your Christian calendar, Chaitanya lived around the time of Columbus—who discovered your country. Rama's ancestors were followers of Lord Chaitanya.  When they arrived in Cambodia they taught those who were still worshiping Lord Vishnu,  the Holy Names that Lord Chaitanya personally chanted. This is His greatest gift—the prayers that you see us chanting on our beads.

 

 

Lord Chaitanya    (1486 - 1534)

 

"Although we were taught the Hare Krishna prayer: Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare • Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare—Rama's ancestors always said there was much to learn about this great saint. For now, all I can say is that instead of churning an ocean of milk with a golden mountain, Lord Chaitanya churned the Holy Name with His divine tongue. This churning became so furious, and produced so much nectar, that the more His followers tasted it, the more their thirst for it grew. Whenever they could, Lord Chaitanya and his disciples freely gave away the nectar of the Holy Name. They never calculated who was qualified to receive it or not; they just gave it away—no strings attached.

 

 

Lord Chaitanya                                                             © Bhaktivedanta Book Trust

 

"Nickolas, as you recall, whoever tasted the nectar produced by the ocean of milk would live forever. But the nectar of the Holy Name contains a gift even more valuable than immortality."

"What could possibly be more valuable than everlasting life," Nick asked?

"Yes, Nickolas, now we are addressing the essence of your answer: love of God. This is what chanting the Holy Name produces. Just as you must enter the lifeboat to touch its provisions, we must chant the Holy Name to receive its provisions. This is the divine gift given by the mercy of Lord Chaitanya. And this gift perfectly matches the supreme goal: to attain love of God. In other words, when you’ve got love of God, you’ve got all there is to get. It is exactly this standard of love that is stored within the Holy Name of Krishna.

"As far as the quality of that love, it is the topmost love of God. Once you receive this nectar, it situates you within the Lord’s intimate circle of devotees. Lord Krishna is completely captivated by anyone possessing the love contained within the Holy Name. The Lord and that person enjoy transcendental bliss perfectly. Furthermore, chanting the Holy Name fills us with an overwhelming spirit of devotion and makes us evermore eager to reach and serve our Lord’s lotus feet.

"Nickolas, calling upon the Holy Name is the recommended way to achieve our place in heaven. Both our religions teach this. My dear friend, Father Mikalson, who I see so much in you, saw no difference in our two religions. He liked referring to the lifeboat. He would say that on a sinking ship, out in the middle of the ocean, there is no other way, no other way, no other way to save yourself, except to take shelter in the lifeboat.

"Once inside, you will discover all you need to safely take you to land. Using this analogy, we agreed that the saints from both our religions proclaim the same message regarding the Holy Name—just as I am telling you today. This is where we need to take shelter. Father Mikalson was also fond of quoting Psalms. The one he repeated often was about a man in great trouble. This man said how, the sorrows of death surrounded him and the pains of hell got hold of him. Then he called upon the Lord’s Holy Name and He delivered his soul from death."  Psalms 116:3-4

Surya stopped speaking for a moment. Tears were beginning to form in Nick’s eyes. Slowly Nick began to speak. "After I fell into the ravine, I knew that I was going to die. I could sense a curtain of death descending upon me. I remember the pain and the darkness. Then I started to pray The Jesus Prayer. I must have said it a million times. And then you appeared, and saved me."

A few moments passed before Suryavarman continued. He reached over and held Nick's hand. "Nicholas, you have been a blessing. Your questions have benefited everyone. God is pleased. As far as the remainder of your life, please keep in your heart all the things we have discussed. There are many important decisions that you must make."

Turning to his disciple, Surya spoke. "Rama, bring me the jar."

"Nickolas, this afternoon I had a wonderful dream during my nap. In it I saw Lord Chaitanya."
 

 

Suryavarman's Dream

 

"When I woke I remembered what He had shown me and now I would like to show you. Since I also want my disciples to hear what I have to say, Rama is going to interpret for me. My dream is meant for all of us."

Setting the clay jar in front of him, Surya then motioned for a pile of rocks to be brought to him. Surya carefully placed them into the jar. When the jar was filled and no more rocks would fit inside, he looked up at Nickolas. Then he looked at his disciples and spoke.

"Is this jar full?"

Everyone, including Nick, nodded, yes.

"Oh really, so you think the jar is full." Surya then motioned for a sack of gravel. Holding it over the jar, Surya slowly dumped it in, shaking the jar to let the pieces of gravel work themselves down into the spaces between the rocks. Looking up, again he asked, "Is the jar now full?"

Alerted to their spiritual master’s tricks, Nick could see most of the monks shaking their head, no.

"Very good—everyone." Now Surya motioned for a sack of fine sand. Again he slowly poured it in, shaking the jug to make the particles of sand seep downward through the larger pieces of gravel.

Looking up, Suryavarman again asked the question: "Is the jar now full?" Still wise to his tricks, everyone said, no.

"Very good. Very good." This time Surya reached over for a bucket of water and within seconds, poured every drop into the jar. Finished at last, with a large smile on his face, Surya turned to Nickolas.

"Can you tell me what lesson we can learn from this?"

Turning slightly red, Nick thought for a moment. "I don’t think I know. The only answer that comes to mind is much, too, mundane."

"Never mind about that." Surya said with a grin, "Go ahead and tell me what you are thinking. This will allow you to look deeper."

"Well, one thing that this tells me is that no matter how full my schedule is, if I try really hard, I can always fit something else into it." As Nickolas spoke, Rama told the monks his answer and soon they were all smiling with approval.

"That is a good answer Nickolas, but perhaps there is something else. For the rest of the day I want everyone to think about what I am going to now say."

Looking at everyone, Surya said, "Nickolas, this illustration teaches us a great lesson. The thing that the Lord told me was this—if you don’t put the big rocks in first, you will never get them in at all.

"So my question is, what are the ‘big rock’ in your life? Remember Nickolas, if you don’t put these big rocks in first, you’ll never fit them in. So until we talk again, as you consider this, ask yourself: What are the ‘big rocks’ in my life? What is really important to me?"

 

As everyone got up to leave, Nickolas thanked Suryavarman. Later, pulling weeds in his garden, Nick began to reflect upon his life.

The next morning was hot. Most of the monks were ready to go to the spring.

"Well Nickolas, have you anything interesting to tell me this morning? What are the big rocks that are important to you?"

"Good morning. You certainly have a remarkable way of getting me to look at my life. Yes, I have thought about my big rocks.

"Before Vietnam, there were many things in my life that I was striving to accomplish. For starters, my Army career was very important to me. Going to Officer’s Candidate School was my number one goal. And there’s even my old truck—a Chevy that I bought. I couldn’t even begin to tell you how many hours I’ve spent restoring it. 

But having come from the brink of death, somehow none of this seems important to me anymore.

"Very Good, Nickolas."

"All I know is that ever since you brought me here—after I regained my health and we began to talk—my whole life seems to have changed. The desire to pray is now an everyday part of my life. I don’t see how I could live without it. Chanting the Lord Name has taken hold of my soul. It seems that the more I pray, the more I enjoy it. I feel alive.

"Before I came here, I must admit that my prayers were shallow and never heart-felt like they are now. In America, the way we are brought up as children, prayer almost seem to be on the same level of just wanting something to happen. I can remembering praying for toys when I was a small boy. Later in high school, our basketball team would pray to win a game. At the same time, the other team would be asking God to let them win.  Or, I’d say to someone, ‘my prayers are with you.’ But now, after praying like you have taught me, I see how shallow and insignificant my prayers used to be—just wishing for something to happen.  What I used to call praying—well, its hard to see how I treated the two differently.

"Again I thank you for everything. Yes, I see things differently now. The war was making my spiritual senses dull. I'm afraid I was putting false rocks in my pot. I was even looking for a stereo system in Saigon so that I could have it shipped back to my wife before my tour was up.  For weeks on end this stupid stereo was all I could think of.

"I often think about what happened to me. I could have been just as easily killed as my friends were. I am positive that prayers saved me. And not just my prayers, but the prayers of many. God is so kind. He took hold of me, turned me upside down, and dumped out all the wrong rocks I had inside me. All I know is that I have never felt so happy as I do today. I am no longer consumed by the wrong things that used to occupy my attention. I am content just being here. The monks have given me a few chores to do and Rama made these beads for me to chant on.

"But I also think of my wife, Eleni, and my daughter, Maria. We have a large family and I miss them all. I know they have been praying for me, too. Honestly, what I have experienced here is the greatest blessing that has ever happened to me. Our discussions have been so clear and uplifting. If I had only known about this sooner I would have placed different rocks in my pot. But I have been given a second chance. Anyone else would have died but because I remembered God in my darkest hour and called out His Name, He sent you to rescue me.

"Will it be alright with you if I don’t go to the spring today? I have some thinking to do."

"Nickolas, whatever you want to do, is fine with us. You have our blessings. You also have the blessings of Lord Krishna and Lord Jesus Christ watching over you. Yesterday we were talking about the endless treasures in Christ. One of those treasures, Nickolas, is that the Holy Name will make you a much wiser man. Think about your rocks. Pray about it and may God be with you."