The Age Of Kali (#1)

* * * * * * * * *

CAST: Bhumi (cow), Dharma (bull), Kali, Sin, Yudhishthira, Pariksit.

Bhumi: (crying) My name is Bhumi. I am Mother Earth in the form of a cow, and my heart is now very heavy with grief. What you are about to see is very, very horrible, for this is the Age of Kali, the Winter Age of mankind, when people become selfish and are overcome with greed for any and all forms of sense gratification. I am afraid of Kali himself, who is without morals or decency. But you can all help, for I have just one request: when you go home tonight, please don't eat me! Please don't eat me! (she runs off crying)

Yudhishthira: The direction of eternal time has changed. The seasons no longer follow their prescribed courses. While the people in general grow greedy and angry, they no longer care for honesty and will do or say anything to satisfy their uncontrolled desires. Everywhere — in the market, in business, and in ordinary dealings between friends — there is cheating. Brother fighting with brother, mother with child, and even between husband and wife there is no peace; and always the strain of quarrel. Just see how many miseries due to celestial influences, earthly reactions and bodily pains — all very dangerous — are foreboding danger in the near future! My left side is trembling. The lower animals are circumambulating me, and my horses are crying. Just see! This pigeon is like the messenger of death and the owls and the rival hawks with their shrieking screams make my heart tremble! It appears that they want to make a void of the entire universe! Smoky encirclements cover the sky! The earth and the mountains are trembling! Lightning bolts are flashing without any clouds and the chilling sound of thunder is everywhere! The wind is blowing violently, blasting dust everywhere — creating darkness! The clouds are raining everywhere with bloody disasters! The rays of the sun are declining and the very stars appear to be fighting among themselves, and the Deities appear to be crying in the temple! What is this extraordinary time? I do not know what calamities are awaiting us. Seven months have passed since Arjuna went to Dwaraka to see Krishna, who has quit His earthly pastimes just as Narada has foretold. No longer will the earth be marked by the Lotus Feet of the Lord — and thus the Age of Quarrel has begun! (exits with a worried look)

(Enter Kali & Sin, laughing and dancing to wild music)

Kali: This is my age, my queen, just now begun —and I am allowed 400,000 years in which to have my fun! I'll drag them by their senses into the deepest hell!

This is my art, my queen, and I know it well.

With lust and greed their hearts will be afire!

I'll laugh at the ignorant fools struggling in the quicksand of Maya.

Wars... plagues... death... suicides...

bombs... money... liquor... and lies...

Kali & Sin: So, we're pleased to meet you.

Hope you guess our names.

For what is troubling you

is just the nature of our game.

Kali: For I am Kali.

Sin: And I'm his consort, Sin.

Kali: In my age, my queen, illicit sex will be in vogue!

Sin: O Kali, Kali, you're such a rouge!

Kali: Yes, ILLICIT SEX — such delight! For a moment of pleasure like dogs they'll fight.

They'll kill their babies in the womb

and make the garbage cans their tomb!

Women-hunters will scavenge the night

and they'll slaughter the cows for their appetite...

Which brings us to MEAT EATING!

Sin: What would you like for dinner, dear?

Some freshly-killed cow, chicken or steer?

Government-inspected turkey, rabbit or lamb?

Kali: No, love, tonight I'll eat my fellow man! (jumps at nearest person in audience) I'll get you all, just wait and see,

I yield no compassion, no drop of mercy;

for this is the age of Kali!

Kali: Still more? Then come. (pulls out needle) Just see what I have in store!

Mystical visions do I guarantee.

Whatever you want, just come to me — Kali.

Sin: GAMBLING! Money is God,

they'll make it their life.

Their greed for wealth

will cause such strife.

Kali: Worship of God? Ha! There'll hardly be any;

but even the pauper will worship his penny.

And the leaders of men will be so filled with greed,

they'll be too blind to see

that the only way to have peace

will be to get rid of me! Kali!

Sin: Mental speculation:

Science is God! Atomic bombs,

atomic radiation!

Kali: I am God. You are God.

Sin: The death of religion I will bring!

It's all one, it doesn't matter.

Just have your fun...

blow your minds and let them run...

Kali: For the corruption of religion is my game.

Watch austerity, mercy, cleanliness

and truth go down the drain;

for the world will be ruled by the thoroughly insane...

For I am Kali.

Sin: And I'm his consort, Sin.

Kali: When we're done, just see how heads will spin!

Sin: You will eat one another — even kith and kin!

Kali: At the end of the age men will be pygmies, short and thin!

Sin: You'll be old by the time you're ten!

Kali: For I am Kali.

Sin: And I'm his consort, Sin.

Both: AND THIS IS THE AGE THAT WILL DO YOU ALL IN!!! (they run out laughing)

(Enter Yudhishthira, King Pariksit, and 2 guards)

Yudhishthira: The total land of the earth is under the control of my throne. As emperor, it is my duty to protect all the citizens, including the animals, from all harm and to train them according to the directions of the Supreme Lord. It is under His control and sanction that everything moves, and thus I am also His servant. Under His guidance, all of the citizens on the earth are happy in all respects, free from the disturbances of sinful life.

Pariksit, you are my grandson. You have been trained to assume leadership. This age is a difficult one. As the new emperor, it will be your duty to protect the citizens from degradation.

Now I am growing old. The time has come for me to give up material activities and devote myself entirely to the service of the Lord. I must prepare myself to return to Godhead. (he crowns Pariksit and gives him a sword. Pariksit bows, thinks for a while, then addresses audience:)

Pariksit: My dear citizens, my friends, as king it is my duty to give protection to the residents of the land, and therefore I am here to serve you all. We are entering difficult times. This Age of Kali is very dangerous for the human beings. Human life is meant for self-realization and to understand that we are all brothers. Not only the humans, but the animals, the birds, the trees, they are our brothers as well. Together we must acknowledge and glorify the Supreme Personality of Godhead, our common Father. Due to the influence of this Age of Kali, men will completely forget the aim of life. The great sages foresee that in this age men will become mad after sense gratification. They will become short-lived, quarrelsome, misguided, and above all always disturbed. Finally, at the end of the age, the only philosophy will be "I will kill you and eat you or you will kill me and eat me."

Yudhishthira: But, my dear friends, before these tragedies come about, in the midst of the turmoil of this age, there will be a renaissance of transcendental knowledge and religious principles. At that time, men everywhere — in every town and village all over the world — will be given the opportunity to revive their relationship with the Supreme Father and glorify Him by the congregational chanting of the Holy Names of the Lord! (all exit)

(Dharma and Bhumi enter as a bull and cow. Song:)

Dharma: O Madam, are you quite hale and hearty?

Why do you look so aggrieved?

Why do you have these tears in your eyes?

What sorrow brings on these trembling cries?

Bhumi: O Dharma, what you say is true.

And it's already known to you.

But I shall reply to those

And tell you why I cry so.

Krishna, the Supreme Personality

Has gone away, can't you see?

Never again will I hope to meet

The soft sweet touch of His lotus feet.

Dharma: Is it because you now foresee my disaster

Caught up in the clutches of Kali?

With kings picked from thieves, high taxes to pay,

The innocent men will all lose their way.

And do you see the poor women

Exploited and left without home;

Their children gone wrong, with no one to care,

Society reaps a hell that all men must share.

Bhumi: I'm lost in a night of sad dreams.

With lust, cruel men now plunder the earth.

My dear Lord has gone from my sight.

Nescience has turned day into night.

The fields once were green from His touch,

I miss my dear Lord so much.

I'm weak with a load I no longer can bear,

And O I'm afraid! For I... feel Kali near!

Kali: (sings) For this is the age of Kali

When men will come under my sway!

And all of your good qualities, today

Surely I'll steal away.

Surely I'll steal away! (Bhumi sneaks out)

Kali: Dharma!!! You filthy bull! You represent everything I detest. Cleanliness! Ptahh! (spits) Mercy! Ptahh! Austerity and truthfulness!! Ptahh! Who needs these useless things? I will break every bone in your body! First your leg of cleanliness I will destroy with my weapon of illicit sex. (strikes Dharma) Now I will break your leg of mercy with the weapon of meat eating. (strikes Dharma) Now your leg of austerity I will destroy with the weapon of intoxication. (strikes Dharma for the third time) Am I alone and unobserved? Now, I shall destroy your last existing leg of truthfulness with my weapon of lying propaganda! (he gets ready to strike, but Maharaja Pariksit quickly enters, running and shouting)

Pariksit: Who are you? You appear to be strong and yet you dare to kill, within my protection, those who are helpless? By dress you pose to be a manly king, but no leader would ever do such an act. You rogue! You dare to beat an innocent cow on account of Lord Krishna and Arjuna being out of our sight? As you are beating the innocent in a secluded place, you are a culprit and deserve to be killed! (Kali falls at his feet with folded hands)

Kali: O King, my Lord,

spare me your sharpened sword!

I confess, I confess

and I'll even take off my royal dress!

Pariksit: As you have surrendered yourself with folded hands, you need no longer fear for your life. Kali, you cannot remain in any part of my land, as you are the cause of irreligiosity and strife. Wherever you go, Kali, inauspiciousness is sure to follow — like greed, chaos, cheating, quarrel; and it is qualities like these that degrade the entire society.

Kali: O Your Majesty, I may live anywhere by your order,

but here and there wherever I may go,

I shall have to see you with your bow.

Pariksit: Very well, Kali. You may live wherever you find gambling, intoxication, illicit connection with women, and the slaughter and eating of animals.

Kali: Yes, yes, that suits me fine.

Your Majesty is very kind.

But also, while you are king,

such places you mention, there are no such thing.

Come king, please give me a permanent place to stay in your kingdom.

Pariksit: Alright, Kali, I give you permission to reside wherever there is the hoarding of gold, because wherever there is gold there is falsity, lust, and enviousness. (Kali backs away bowing meekly, but leaving with demonic laughing) And so, Dharma, I shall cheat this personality of Kali. In my kingdom I shall re-establish your three legs — austerity, cleanliness, and mercy. I shall collect all the gold meant for illicit propensities and utilize it in the Sankirtan movement, the spreading of the chanting of the Holy Name of the Lord:

(Govindam song heard while the cast comes on for final bow)

The End