The Wrong Bank Account

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CAST: George, Teller, Lady Teller.

George: (enters bank) Good afternoon, sir. I'd like to open up an account in your bank.

Teller: Very well. Your name, please.

George: Millhouse, George Millhouse is the name.

Teller: Very well, Mr. Millhouse. And here's your account number.

George: And here's my deposit. Gotta think ahead now, you know, save for the future. I'm going to get married soon, send the kids to school, buy that house in the country. "Think Big" is my motto.

Teller: Glad to have your account, Mr. Millhouse. And just to show our appreciation, here's a little something from us to you.

George: Well, thanks a lot. Say, it's a... it's a crossword puzzle! I always wanted one of those. Well, I've got to be back at the office. I'll see you next week.

Teller: Good afternoon, Mr. Millhouse.

George: Good afternoon. (both exit)

(it is seven years later — both men enter dressed differently)

Teller: Good afternoon, George. On time, as usual.

George: Yes, it's been seven years now and I haven't missed a week yet. And here's my deposit.

Teller: Wel-l-l!

George: Yeah, I got a raise today. But it's all going in your bank, Frank, it's all going in your bank. I've really got to think of the future now, you know. The kids will be going to college before you know it. And the wife... well, she's got to have that fur coat. And the mortgage payments on the house — they have to be met. Come to think of it, I've been planning on getting a second job, maybe work nights.

Teller: Well, I like a man with your ambition, George. You really work hard for your money. But don't worry. It'll all come back to you one day. You'll see. Well, here's your book.

George: Thanks a lot. Say, that interest is really piling up. That's really nice. (looks at watch) Wow! It's really getting late. I gotta get back to work. Say listen, Frank, I'll see you next week.

Teller: Good afternoon, George.

George: Good afternoon.

(It is 25 years later — both men are middle-aged, with paunches)

George: Good afternoon, Frank. On time as usual. Haven't missed a week in 25 years. (counts out deposit) Here you are.

Teller: Thanks a lot, George. By the way, how are the kids these days?

George: I don't see much of them these days. The boy is away on business again, and the girls, they don't write very often. Well, that's life, I suppose. Say, isn't that a... isn't that a brand new...?

Teller: It's a gold watch. The company gave it to me for all these years on the job. Why, I'm going to retire soon. Gonna get that little place down in Miami. I'm going to enjoy life.

George: (starts coughing convulsively)

Teller: Say, maybe you'd better retire yourself soon, George. Your health hasn't been very good lately. Two jobs must really be rough on you now.

George: Oh, I'll be all right. I'll be all right! I'm going to take that trip around the world like I always wanted to. Besides, if I retire now, what's your bank going to do for money? (both laugh. George starts coughing again) Well, good afternoon, Frank.

Teller: Good afternoon, George.

(George is an old man. The old teller is no longer there, replaced by a brash lady newcomer)

George: Good afternoon, Frank. Am I on time today?

Teller: Frank? Frank? Do you need new glasses, mister?

George: Why, you're not Frank. Where's Frank? I always do business with him.

Teller: You mean that old guy? He dropped dead three days ago. Had a stroke on the way to work.

George: Frank? Dead? I can't believe it. He was going to retire next week.

Teller: (indifferent) Well, what are you going to do?

George: Frank! Dead! Just like that. My God... Say, wait a minute. Listen. Listen here, young lady! I want to withdraw my account now. Everything!

Teller: What's your number?

George: (trying to see the small print on his bank book) It's 9... 9-0... 9-0-3...

Teller: (snatches the book from George's hands) 9-0-3-3.

George: Yeah, 9-0-3-3. Poor Frank, he just made that last down payment on that house in Miami. He was going to move in a week and now — finished. Say, wait a minute. I'm getting old, too. I've got to take that trip around the world now. I've got to enjoy life!

Teller: hold on, mister. Something's wrong here!

George: What's that? What's wrong?

Teller: Your number's not 9-0-3-3. You're 9-0-3-5! (teller starts laughing hysterically) All these years you've been putting your money into the wrong bank account!

George: What? What? Now, you look here. I've been depositing in this bank now for fifty years. Do you hear me? Fifty years! And you mean to tell me that all these years, I've been putting my money, my money in the wrong, in the wrong...wrong... (George dies instantly of a heart attack)

(actors preach how the analogy of the wrong bank account refers to the materialists investing so much time and energy accumulating material treasures that are ultimately taken away by death. But by steadily depositing into the spiritual bank account by rendering devotional service, your treasures last eternally.)

The End