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CAST: Lust, Anger, Greed, Old Man, Old Age, Narrator.

Lust: Good evening... Allow me to introduce myself — my name is Lust. I am sure you have all met me before, for everyone in this world knows me in one way or another. Originally, I was known as love, and I lived in an eternal land far away from here, which was ruled by one known as the All-Attractive Lord. I decided to become independent, to make my own fortune, so I travelled to this temporary material world, where there is so much to enjoy — that is, in between the tiny inconveniences of birth, disease, old age and death.Here, I met my beloved teacher, Selfishness. He taught me everything I know and initiated me with the name "Lust." So, here I live now, along with my dear wife, Envy, who is never far away from my heart. Then, of course, there are all my devoted sons and daughters, including my eldest and favorite son, Cupid, and my three pet daughters — Profit, Adoration and Distinction. All in all, we are a very popular family; indeed, most people in this world treat me as their dearmost friend. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! They do not know that I am actually their greatest enemy! If they invite me into their homes (for I never come where I am not invited)... I begin to make all kinds of demands — "Give me this, give me that..." and they try so hard to satisfy me... but it is never good enough — I am never satisfied! Then I call in my army of unlimited desires, who run through the house, setting all the rooms ablaze, until all their strength, knowledge, wealth, beauty, and everything is burned to the ground!Then, I take these miserable fellows and have them thrown into the darkest dungeons of forgetfulness, where they sit and rot! Slowly but surely most hosts go completely crazy! Ha! Ha! Ha! Kings, scientists, philosophers, aristocrats, even great yogis and so-called holy men... by their own power they cannot stop me... I am invincible! Well... almost! There is one way and one way only that I can be thwarted... it is a great secret, hardly one man in millions knows this... but I will tell you! If one cultivates Krishna Consciousness, under the guidance of a pure devotee of Lord Krishna, he alone can conquer me! But I warn you! If you try to do this, you are declaring war against me, and as long as you are in this material world, I will not leave you in peace!

Excuse me, I don't know what came over me. I've got nothing to worry about... after all, who would want to leave my association? This material world is not such a bad place, really. I mean it has... some slight disadvantages — repeated birth, old age, disease and death — but on the other hand, there's so much... so much... sin! Mmmmmmm! Yes, there is nothing quite like it — it's so exciting, so absorbing, all-devouring! Talking of sin, that reminds me: where are those two good friends of mine... Anger and Greed? I've been looking for them everywhere! Anger! Greed! Where are you?

Anger: (offstage, roaring) What is it? Well... Lust, it's you! (comes on stage angrily)

Lust: Anger, my dear friend!

Anger: Well, what the hell do you want?

Lust: Oh Anger, it's so good to see you after all this time!

Anger: Bah!

Lust: I thought it would be nice if you and I could get together with Greed, and we could have a real good time!

Anger: Why should I? I hate you... I hate everybody!

Lust: Dear Anger... don't be so... angry! Tell me, why are you so upset?

Anger: Because I'm frustrated! I can't get what I want! So, I'm angry!

Lust: Listen, I've got a great idea how we can enjoy like anything!

Anger: What is it? (Lust whispers in Anger's ear) Bah! All right, then!

Lust: Believe me, it's a foolproof plan! Now, where is Greed?

Anger: How the hell should I know?

Lust: All right, just asking...

Anger: Well, don't!

Greed: (enters, waddling due to obesity... eating something which is falling out of his mouth due to trying to eat too much at once. He carries a bottle of something in one hand) Did somebody call me?

Anger: Where on earth have you been?

Greed: I've been everywhere... looking for more... money, power, food, intoxication, sex... you name it, I must have more of it... more and more!

Lust: Greed, my dear friend, wonderful to see you again! How fares it with you?

Greed: Can't complain, really, but I could have more! Yes, I must have more and more, otherwise life is just a bore!

Lust: Don't worry, Greed, I have got a perfectly demonic scheme for enjoying that is so abominably good it will send shivers up your spine!

Greed: Oh really? That sounds nice... but I want the most... may I have the most? I do need more than anyone else! I must have more and more. I must! Give me more and more and more! And I don't care if everyone else goes without, as long as I can have more!

Lust: Oh Greed, you're so... greedy! It makes me quite... envious!

Anger: Come on, Lust, lets get on with it... I'm getting impatient!

Lust: All right, now here's the plan — every day about this time, there's a feeble old man who comes this way. He looks a bit poor, but I happen to know that he's as rich as anything! When he comes by, we'll jump on him, beat him up and take all his money!

Greed: That sounds great! But can I have the biggest share?

Anger: I don't care, as long as I can kill him! Can I kill him, can I, Lust?

Lust: Well, all right, if you must! Look out — here he comes now! (Lust, Anger and Greed all jump on the old man, who cries out:)

Old Man: Oh, please! Leave me alone! I have no money... I am just a poor man...

Lust: Poor man? You're a liar!!! Hold him down, Anger, search him, Greed!

Greed: Not a brass farthing... he's skint!

Anger: I thought you said he was a rich man, Lust? Bah!

Lust: What? No money? But you had so much money... what happened to it all? Have you hidden it somewhere?

Old Man: Honestly, I did have a great deal of money, but... I lost it all.

Greed: Lost it all?

Old Man: Yes, by gambling...

Lust: Gambling? Oh, how irresponsible! How sinful! Anyway, you know the wages of sin! Anger, kill him!

Old Man: Wait! if you spare me, I shall tell you where to find riches beyond your wildest dreams!

Lust/Anger/Greed: Yes? How much?

Old Man: A huge chest full of gold, rubies, pearls and diamonds... and thousands of gold coins!

Greed: Where is it? Tell us!

Old Man: Will you give me your word that you will spare me if I tell you?

Lust: Of course... of course... I give you my word! We wouldn't do such a thing as break our promise! Now, speak on! Tell us where the treasure is!

Old Man: First you must find the path of Attachment, and follow it into the forest of Entanglement... then cross over the river of Illusion and keep going till you get to the mountains of Fear! Search the mountain top until you find the cave of Death! Inside that cave you will find what you are seeking...

Greed: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'll be the richest man in the world!

Lust: Yes! We all will be! Thank you, old man... All right Anger, you can kill him now!

Old Man: No! Please, you promised! You gave your word!

Lust: You've got a lot to learn, my friend... never trust the word of a materialist! Anger! (old man dies, screaming, by the knife of Anger) All right, Greed, Anger, let us find the path of Attachment! (curtain)

Narrator: And so, the three rogues, Lust, Anger and Greed, began their journey in search of the treasure. Finding the path of Attachment, they journeyed for many miles...

(Enter Greed, followed by Anger and Lust)

Greed: Look! There's a great forest up ahead!

Anger: Yes, yes! Do you think I'm blind?

Lust: We'll soon be rich!

Anger: All right, lets get moving! Hurry up!

Lust: Well, here we are in the forest of Entanglement! But... which way shall we go now?

Greed: This way looks the best!

Anger: No, no! It must be this way!

Greed: What do you say, Lust?

Lust: (pointing in another direction altogether) This way!

Anger: I hope this is the right way!

Greed: We're lost, aren't we?

Lust: Will you two stop squabbling? Just think of all those riches!

Greed: Yes, riches! All mine... all mine!

Lust: Look! The river of Illusion!

Greed: Oh dear, it looks very deep and dangerous!

Lust: (dipping toe in water) It's very cold, too!

Anger: (pushing them both into the water) Oh, just get in, you weaklings!

Lust: Help! I can't swim!

Greed: It's all right, just think of the riches... you can do anything for that!

Lust: Yes... riches...

Greed: We've nearly reached the shore!

Lust: Come now, friends, just a little further and we'll have our wildest dreams fulfilled!

Anger: If there really is any treasure! I bet that old fool was lying!

Greed: Take heart, Anger, here are the mountains of Fear that the old man spoke about!

Lust: Yes, Greed, yes — the mountains of Fear! They look rather high, don't they?

Anger: Come on, hurry up... Greed, you go first!

Greed: Help! I'm falling!

Anger: Come on, Greed, stop fooling around, this isn't the time for it, you know!

Greed: (scrambling to safety) There must be easier ways of getting rich!

Anger: Oh shut your mouth, Greed, before I put my fist in it!

Greed: Charmed, I'm sure!

Lust: Just a little further now, my friends! Just think of all that glittering gold!

Greed: The cave of Death! It looks very dark in there!

Anger: I'm not afraid! Come on, let's go inside! (opens the curtain to cave. Enter Old Age)

Old Age: Stop! If you value your lives, go no further, for this is the cave of Death! No man that ever entered here came out alive!

Lust: (laughing nervously) So sorry to trouble you, sir, we were just leaving...

Anger: Lust! Come back here, you snivelling toad! (to Old Age) I'm not afraid of you... you... who are you, anyway?

Old Age: My name is Old Age, and I stand here at the door to the cave of Death to welcome fools like you who are seeking doom!

Anger: Come on, you two, this old fellow's just been up in these mountains too long... he's lost his marbles! You crumbling old twit! Get out of our way before I kill you... be off! Old Age exits, shaking his head sadly)

Greed: Well done, Anger, good man!

Lust: I wasn't really fried... look, here's the treasure chest... we've made it... we're rich!

Greed/Anger/Lust: Gold, jewels! All mine... all mine!!!

Anger: We'll split it three ways, okay Greed? Lust?

Lust: Yes... Three ways! There's enough here for all of us... we must do these things honestly!

Greed: Honestly? Since when have you been honest, Lust?

Lust: Very funny! Anyway, it was worth it... we're rich! We're rich!!!

Greed: This calls for a celebration... I think I saw some wine in another part of the cave... I'll go and get some for us all!

Anger: Well hurry up, then... I don't want to hang around here too long! (Greed exits)

Lust: Hey, Anger, if we split this treasure only two ways instead of three, there would be a lot more for you and I!

Anger: But what about Greed? He wouldn't think much of that idea... how are you going to persuade him, Lust?

Lust: Not persuade — all we do is bump him off!

Anger: Bump him off?!

Lust: Come on, Anger, you're a man of the world! All we have to do is this: as soon as Greed comes back, I'll distract his attention while you go up behind him and ZZZZZIIPP with your knife — that's the end of Greed!!!

Anger: Ha! Ha! Ha! I like your style, Lust!

Lust: Shhhh! Here he comes now!

Greed: (aside) Ha! Ha! Ha! I'll give them some wine, all right! With the addition of a few drops of cyanide, just to add a little flavor! After all, why should we split the treasure three ways, when there's just enough for one — me! (aloud) Here you are, gentlemen, a little Vin Rouge to... uh... refresh you!

Lust: That's very kind of you, Greed! Who says there's no honor amongst thieves? Just put it down there, while we count the booty. I say, Greed, what's that big green snake crawling up behind you? (Greed turns around in surprise and Anger knifes him in the back)

Greed: Ah! You dirty double-dealers!!! The gold... jewels... all mine... (dies)

Lust: Nice one, Anger!

Anger: (to Greed's body which is lying on the floor) Please don't take it personally, my friend, it was purely a business arrangement!

Lust: Come, Anger, lets drink on it! I propose a toast.. to fortune!

Anger: To fortune! (Lust and Anger down their glasses of wine, and moments later they fall to the floor clutching their throats)

Old Age: Tut tut! I warned them... I warned them, but they did not listen! They did not heed my advice — such is the result of Lust, Anger and Greed! As Lord Krishna himself has said in the Bhagavad-Gita (16.21): Tri-vidham narakasyedam, dvaram nasanam atmanah, kamah krodhas tatha lobhas, tasmad etat trayam tyajet... "There are three gates leading to this hell — lust, anger and greed. Every sane man should give these up, for they lead to the degradation of the soul." Alas, these three qualities are still not dead, for they are very much alive in the hearts of men today. Come gentleman, tell us your tale of woe! (Lust, Anger and Greed get up and speak:)

Lust: Lust was so filled with desire to enjoy his bodily senses, to lord it over the creation and to be independent of God, that all his good qualities were destroyed, and ultimately, so was he.

Anger: Anger was so frustrated upon being unable to satisfy his unlimited lusty desires and being filled with rage and hatred for everything and everyone, he lost all intelligence and fell into madness, violence and destruction.

Greed: Greed was so selfish and avaricious that he plundered and cheated everyone for as much as he could grab, and by causing so much distress to others, he paid the price... and died in misery.

Old Age: Lust, Anger and Greed! Those very rogues who have created the factories, the slaughterhouses, the abortion clinics, the nuclear bombs — and thus have made this world exactly like hell — those same rogues are glorified in every newspaper and magazine, eulogized in every novel and song, and treasured in every home and heart! By following these rogues, and their modern day servants — the politicians, atheistic scientists, and educationalists — we are misled to replace spiritual searching with the accumulation of material objects and experiences. And, by allowing our children to be indoctrinated and misguided by them, we are inadvertently supporting the downfall of civilization! The result is this modern hell in which we are all suffering so miserably. If one simply wastes his human life in trying to satisfy the animal propensities of eating, sleeping, mating and defending, then he will certainly die in ignorance and take birth in the degraded animal species.However, by turning one's attention to understanding his real identity — as eternal servant of Krishna — then, by such spiritual inquiry, one's whole life becomes successful. One who sincerely wants to became free from the bondage of Lust, Anger and Greed, will seek out a pure devotee of God who will guide him to perfection and eternal bliss in loving relation with the supreme all-attractive person, Lord Krishna. Such a rare and priceless opportunity is now available in the personality of Srila Prabhupada. So, simply by following in the footsteps of such a pure devotee, and by chanting the Holy Names: Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare / Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare — one will be transferred at the end of this life back home, back to Godhead, the Supreme Abode, which is forever free from the pangs of Lust, Anger and Greed.

The End