The Man Who Served The Greatest (#1)

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CAST: Servant, Grocer, Customer, Tax Collector, Governor, King, Attendant, Sage.

(Bright lighting, flute music. Enter Servant, wandering about, people hustling about)

Servant: Just see, I am so small, so small, so insignificant in this world. What is this creation? What is my place? It is all too bewildering for one so small as me. I need a master, someone to watch over and care for me. But my master should be most competent, the greatest master of all. Who is such a master and where will I find him? (exit, cut music. Enter Gujarati grocery store owner, stands before a picture of Lakshmidevi and offers puja)

(finishes puja and grabs a bead bag in one hand and sack of money in the other and begins chanting and counting. Enter servant and customers)

Grocer: Namaste, Panditji!

Customer: Namaste, Maharaja!

Grocer: I am having best buy for you today on lettuce!

Customer: Oh I am liking anything, but are you sure it's good? Last week you gave me...

Grocer: Fresh! Just picked! How much you are taking — 20 pounds?

Customer: No, I am only taking two.

Grocer: Take more, Prabhu. Here is special, best price for five pounds — 10 rupees. I am doing only for you.

Customer: Well...

Grocer: No, you are best customer — I'm throwing in jalebis for the kids! (Customer gives his money, grocer touches it to his head, says prayer and greedily stashes the money and resumes counting money while chanting japa. Servant carefully walks over)Servant: Ahem, excuse me sir.

Grocer: Yes what is it? What is your business here ? Speak up. (short pause)

Servant: Sir, I would like to serve the greatest person. I thought perhaps you could help.

Grocer: See for yourself. All the people in the town are coming to me. Without me, they cannot continue to live. Even the sannyasis, who are supposed to be totally dependent on God, are coming to beg from me, and without my support they would perish. You would do well, therefore, to engage yourself in my service.

Servant: Yes, sir.

Grocer: Very well, then. Take that broom and begin sweeping the floor.

Servant: Yes, sir.

Grocer: On second thought, son, come over here and help me move this sack of potatoes.

Servant: (quickly) Yes, sir.

Grocer: Put it over there in that corner... no wait, over there by the fruits... no no, that won't do, put them back here. Ow! Not on my foot, you fool!

(enter Tax Collector. Grocer shies away, sweats and becomes very nervous, puts bag of money under his seat)

Servant: What's the matter, Maharaja?

Tax Collector: Well well, if it isn't my old fat friend, Govind. Business must be good these days, eh? (patting him on his fat stomach)

Grocer: Bad times these days. Hard to make one from one.

Tax Collector: Let's see the books, Maharaja. (he looks at cash ledger) This is an unusual transaction — why so much?

Grocer: Let me see. Oh that. Well, that is no problem, no problem. (handing him a bribe) Look again — I think maybe you have miscalculated!

Tax Collector: Oh yes, excuse me — my mistake! So, then you are owing 50,000 rupees to the government.

Grocer: Yes, well here you go. Boy, bring that sack of money over here.

Servant: Yes, sir... but I don't understand. What is going on? I thought you said you were the greatest person, but I see you are subordinate to him. I want to serve the greatest person! (turning to Tax Collector) Please sir, I want to serve the greatest person!

Tax Collector: Well, you certainly have come to the right man, boy. All people are engaged in some occupation for which they receive some fruit, and although they work very hard to make their money — you see how they must pay me, simply at my command! If they do not pay me, they will be put in jail. There are many shopkeepers throughout the province, but all of them are subject to pay dues to me. Therefore, let's go, boy, you will be quite happy as my servant!

Grocer: He's a very valuable assistant to me, Your Grace!

Tax Collector: Okay, Maharaja... (hands grocer back the smaller bribe) Come on, boy, pick up that bag of money and let's go!

(Enter Governor, very affected. Enter Servant and Tax Collector)

Tax Collector: Put the bag by his feet, you dolt! (Servant is very tired)

Governor: Ah... finally you've brought the taxes from that obese hold-out in the market square! Very well, then, be off with you. Your services are no longer required here. I'm sure you have something better to do.

Servant: But, excuse me sir... I am confused.

Governor: Billings, who is this ninny?

Tax Collector: I picked him up cheap in the market square.

Servant: Yes, sir, I wanted to serve the greatest person, and this man cheated me, explaining how he was the greatest.

Governor: How droll, Billings — the greatest person?! Country bumpkin, you have no taste. This man is my paid servant, and there are many more like him. He is simply collecting taxes which have been imposed by me. If people do not pay their taxes, I can take away all their possessions and send them off to prison! Billings, jump... jump, Billings, or I'll have your head! (Billings jumps) You see? Anyway, enough talk. You'll be my servant?

Servant: Yes, sir.

Governor: A marvelous judge of character! Good ninny, of course I will accept you. Go away, Billings. (Billings leaves in a cowardly manner) Now shine my shoes, you nincompoop. Brush my hair, straighten my tie and pull up my girdle — we're off to see the king! (Servant engages in that way and then they exit)

(Music, entrance of the King and Queen with entourage)

Attendant: Make way for the King, make way for the King! (music stops)

King: So, what is the first order of business?

Attendant: The governor of the West Province is here to see you, Your Majesty.

King: Announce him.

Attendant: The governor of Vishaya, the governor of Vishaya! (enter Governor and Servant, Governor half-bowing before the King, still puffed up)

Governor: Your Majesty, all is accounted for.

King: Well done, you may return to your home, there is no further business today.

Governor: Oh, I see... thank you so much, Your Majesty! Come, ninny! (they are about to leave, but Servant suddenly addresses King)

Servant: No! Please, Your Majesty, I beg you — I am in search of the greatest person to serve, and I have been cheated by one man after another!

Attendant: In this Province there is none superior to our King. Everyone is under his rule. Even the British fear his Majesty. You had better serve him if you know what is good for you.

Servant: Well, if you're sure.

Attendant: I'm sure!

Governor: Hmph! (walks off angrily)

King: So you want to serve me, eh? You seem a little naive. Nonetheless, you're sincere. What service would you like to do?

Servant: Your Majesty, I am able to do any menial jobs you may set me to!

King: Oh well, my Attendant here will see that you are settled in the palace and that you have a schedule of little jobs to do. I must go out now. (King exits)

Attendant: Long live the King! Long live the King!

Servant: Where is our King going?

Attendant: The King goes out to the garden every day to hear from his Spiritual Master, a very wise and saintly person. This meeting is very important to the King, and we must never disturb him!

Servant: I must see this... could it be?...

(Servant hides and observes the King bowing before his Guru)

King: Pranam, Gurudeva.

Sage: O King, is everyone well in your kingdom? Are all the citizens happy and well cared for? Is the system of varna and ashrama being maintained?

King: The kingdom is in quite good shape, Guruji. By following your orders, things never fail. Actually, it is a fact that you are the real ruler of this Province. Please tell me, how can I serve you?

Servant: (to King) No! No! You're not the greatest person! I've been cheated yet again! Now it appears that this saintly man is the greatest of all! Will my search never end?

Sage: To be master of everyone requires unlimited energy and opulence — wealth, strength, fame, renunciation, beauty and wisdom. By possessing these qualities one may rule over others. The Personality who possesses all of these qualities in full is known to me.

Servant: O great sage, please, I want to find this amazing Person! I want to serve Him! Please take me to Him!

Sage: Then let us go to the temple where He resides. (exit Sage and Servant)

(Temple — enter Sage and Seeker. Sage shows him the Deity of Krishna)

Servant: I was simply trying to find the greatest person, but I always see that everyone has a superior over them. Even the great King takes instruction from you. So please tell me, are you the greatest master?

Sage: I am master of no one. I am a simple servant like yourself, endeavoring to serve Lord Sri Krishna — the Supreme Personality of Godhead.

Servant: I, too, wish to serve the Lord, but how do I become qualified?

Sage: You may start by chanting Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare / Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare... by chanting the maha-mantra constantly, your love for God develops and grows. It takes time, but try it, won't you?

Servant: I want to chant the Holy Names of the Lord constantly — let's all chant right now! (kirtan)

The End